


From father to son

by mtac_archivist



Category: NCIS
Genre: Drama, First Time, M/M, Not Episode Related, Not a Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-21
Updated: 2007-10-21
Packaged: 2019-03-02 06:59:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13312872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtac_archivist/pseuds/mtac_archivist
Summary: Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived atMTAC, an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address onthe MTAC collection profile





	From father to son

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [ MTAC](https://fanlore.org/wiki/MTAC), an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address on [ the MTAC collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/mtac/profile)

Chapter 1.  
Tom.

Gibbs was late. For the first time since he was working with him, Tony was begining to worry for his boss. He knew that the older man would come in soon, yelling at him because he was not at work. But he couldn’t help this strange feeling telling him there was something wrong. To be honest it was not the first time he had had this kind of feelings...since Kate’s death...

He was always worrying for the members of the team...He was worrying for Abby when she was alone in her lab, he was worrying for Ducky when the ME didn’t tell him at least two of his favourite stories each day, he was worrying when McGee didn’t wince at one of his stupid joke...   
Hell he was even sometimes worrying for Ziva even if he suspected that the younger woman would have been perfectly able to defend herself without anyone...

Today it was Gibbs...Most of the time it was about Gibbs. He had realized that his feelings for his boss were not only inspired by the respect he had for him almost a year ago. He had thought at first that he was only trying to impress him but he soon realized it was more than that...

Lately the older man had become more secret if it was possible. Tony had always been able to tell if something was wrong only by the way Gibbs was looking at him. He had seen the sadness and the sorrow in his eyes at Kate’s burial. He had felt the guilt and the anger in his voice. But he had also understood the hidden questions his eyes had silently asked him... 

Questions he would have answered if the Gibbs had asked them out loud... “Why her instead of me?”... “Why didn’t I kill him when I had the occasion?”...  
“Because he knew you would suffer from her death”... “Because you are a too good man to do that”...   
But Gibbs had never asked and he would never do that. He had kept his guilt deep inside and was wearing it on his face since the day they had said their last goodbyes to her.

This time he knew it was something else... At work Gibbs had always been concentrated. He was the best investigator he had ever worked with, the best man he had ever met. But he had surprised him making personal calls...  
It was not something unusual but when he had asked him who it was Gibbs had not answered... He had not even told him to mind his own buisiness. He had ignored the question and looked away trying to avoid Tony’s gaze. It was not like him to avoid him like that especially when Tony was being too curious...

He looked at his watch... now he had reasons to worry... Gibbs was an hour late. Ziva and McGee were playing with their computers as if they had not noticed that their boss was not here yet. Those two were amazing... He knew that if he asked them if they knew where Gibbs was, they would find something to say explaining him being late. 

-Did any of you notice that Gibbs was almost an hour late?  
-He must have had an appointment outside...  
-Or he could already be here somewhere...  
Tony sighed... they haven’t even looked up from their computer to answer him.  
-He had no appointment, Probie or he would have told us...  
-What if it’s not work related...  
-Because you think that Gibbs would have an appointment with his dentist during work hours...   
Tony raised his hand before McGee could reply.  
-And he is not here “somewhere” because I already asked and he didn’t sign in today...  
-So...? He is late...  
-Ziva, you have some things to learn about Gibbs. He is never late...  
-Tony is right, Ziva. But he could have been delayed by something important...  
-He would have called ...  
-So what do you propose, Tony? Should we call the police?  
-Very funny, Officer David!

Ziva was still smiling when she looked back at her screen and McGee couldn’t hide that he was also happy to have found some help in Ziva to face Tony. He knew he could rely on her when Tony was bothering him with some of his jokes.  
Tony took his phone and tried for the hundredth time to call Gibbs’ cell. Still no response.

He was about to go to Director Sheppard’s office to ask her if she knew where Gibbs was when his boss entered the room. Something was definetely wrong... Gibbs was not shaved, he was wearing the same clothes than yesterday, he was visibly angry at something or someone but what Tony saw first was his right eye...blue and swollen.  
McGee was like Tony... frozen at the sight of their boss... his eyes asking the same question. Ziva was still bent over her keyboard and she spoke without looking up.

-Hi Boss. Tony was climbing the walls and was about to call the police...  
-No need to call the police. I spent almost all night with them.  
-What...?  
She stopped mid sentence when she saw Gibbs’ face. She looked at her two co-workers who hadn’t moved. Tony was standing up behind his desk one hand still on his phone, McGee was still frozen, his two hands on his keyboard.

-Close your mouths! And go back to work!   
They didn’t make a move still staring at Gibbs. None of them dared to ask the question which was almost burning their lips.   
They were still in the same positions when Abby walked to Gibbs’s desk.   
-Gibbs! Where were you? You told me you wanted my report at 0800 this morning and it’s already 0900...  
Gibbs looked up at her ready to answer her question but she talked first.  
-What happened to your eye?...And where have you been?   
-Stop, Abby! Let’s say I was at the right place at the right moment...  
-What...? You were in a fight...? Hell I don’t want to know what you did to the other guy!

Gibbs smiled at the younger woman’s reply. Abby had always told what she was thinking. She was unable to lie or to hide her thoughts and sometimes her mouth worked even faster than her mind.  
-He is fine, Abby... About your report, it can wait until tomorrow. I have to go back to the police station...I would be home this afternoon if you need anything...call me...

Tony couldn’t stay silent any longer. Gibbs had been in a fight with someone strong enough to hit him at least once, he had spent the night with the police and now he was telling them that the job would have to wait because he had more important things to do...  
-Why do you have to go back to the police? I mean if you spent the night at the police station and if they let you go...  
-It’s not about me, Tony.  
He had at least answered. The answer was not satisfying at all but he had not try to avoid it and he had not yell. It was a good sign.  
-Who is it? The guy who hit you?  
-No, Tony.

Gibbs didn’t give him time to ask his following question. He stood up from his chair and walked to the elevator leaving the four of them wondering what was happening. Tony was trying to find for what reason Gibbs could give up his job... even for some hours...  
Abby was the first to talk.

-What’s wrong with him?   
-I don’t know, Abby. But I’m sure he is hiding something important from us.  
-Tony! It’s Gibbs you are talking about... he is always hiding something...  
-I know that Ziva but this time it’s something or someone important enough to fight for and forget about his job for some hours...! You understand now why I’m worried.  
Ziva didn’t answer. She knew Tony was right. She had had some informations on Gibbs’ past that her co-workers didn’t know about and it made her even worrier in front of her boss’ attitude.

-So... what do we do, now?  
-We wait until this afternoon, until I find some excuse to go to his house...  
-You think he would tell you what really happened?  
-Give me some credits, Ziva. I know him...   
-Sure, Tony...  
Tony did as if he had not seen the doubt behind Ziva and McGee’s smiles. He knew Gibbs and he was aware that the older man would never tell him what was wrong... but he had to try. He couldn’t let him alone if he was in trouble.

Ducky was the one who gave him the perfect excuse to go to Gibbs’ house. The ME called him around noon asking him if he knew where Gibbs was because he had found the file he had asked him to find. The older man had refused to say anything else but Tony had convinced him that he’d better go and tell him what he had found.

-But I can’t go now. I have this autsopy to finish and Mister Palmer can’t do it alone...  
Tony smiled looking at his phone. He could almost picture Ducky in his lab, trying to find a solution. He let him think for a moment before saying....  
-I finished my report and as the boss is not here, there is nothing more I can do today. I could go to his house and bring him this file.  
-Good idea, Anthony! Just come here when you are ready, I would give you the file I wanted him to read.  
Tony didn’t answer and hung up. 

-What makes you smile like that Tony?  
-Ducky just gave me a reason to go and check on Gibbs.  
-I see you didn’t change your mind!  
-No, Ziva. I didn’t.

Tony was aware that Ziva was hiding things from them... probably things Gibbs had told her not to share with anyone. And it was not easy for him to know that his boss, the man he was in love with, didn’t want him to know about some parts of his past. 

He was also aware that Gibbs didn’t owe him anything...The older man didn’t know about his feelings and if he had something to say about it he would never know about them.   
Tony didn’t want to imagine how Gibbs would react if he learnt one day that a member of his team was in love with him... even thinking those words made him shiver.   
He had fallen in love with his boss... He had made a lot of mistakes in his life but this one was the biggest one maybe. He couldn’t do anything against that... He couldn’t fight so strong feelings. The only thing he could do was to keep them hiden and try his best to help him.

He waited half an hour before going down to Ducky’s lab. The ME was at his desk writing his report on the autopsy he had just finished.  
-Hi, Ducky.  
-Hi, Anthony. You came to take the file for Jethro?  
-Yes, I finished paper work for today and I thought I could go now.   
Ducky stood up and faced him. The older man seemed to have something to ask.  
-Do you know why Jethro stays home today? It’s not really like him...  
-I know and I think he is hiding something from us...  
-So you are going to check if he is fine...?

Tony smiled at his friend. He couldn’t hide anything to Ducky. The ME had always been able to read his mind.  
-No, Ducky... You know that Gibbs would never allow me to do that.  
-Maybe. But I’m giving you something to hide behind if he begins to yell at you...  
-You know him too well...   
Tony was about to exit the lab when Ducky caught his arm.  
-Anthony, could you keep me informed...? I admit I’m a little worried for him. He is not the same since Caitlin’s death...  
-I know, Ducky and don’t worry I’m going to take care of him.  
-I’m sure of that, Young Man...

Tony didn’t really understand what Ducky’s smile meant but he had no time to ask. He got out of the building and ran more than walked to his car.   
Ten minutes later he was parking his car in front of Gibbs’ house. He walked to the front door and hesitated before knocking. He was not sure that Gibbs would be happy with him being here but he couldn’t go back to his car and do as if everything was fine. He needed to know... So he knocked... Seconds later he heard footsteps coming to the door... but it was not Gibbs who opened...

In front of him, was standing a young man... a teenager. He would have been unable to give him an age.   
Judging by his height he would have said he was fifteen or sixteen but he seemed to be older... The way he was standing in front of him reminded him of some other young men he had met when he was a cop...Teenagers sometimes children who had grown up too fast living in the streets and working in the same streets.  
Tony was not the kind of man to run too fast to conclusions but he could have bet that this young man had not spent much days at school lately and much nights home with his parents for a long time... The next question that he needed an answer to was what did he do at Gibbs’ house...

-What can I do for you?  
It could have been an innocent question but the tone he had used was not innocent at all. Tony didn’t know how to answer and he was relieved when he heard Gibbs’ voice coming from the kitchen.  
-Who is it?  
-A silent man... but you don’t need to talk when you are so hot...  
He had only said the first part out loud...the second one had been reserved for Tony’s ears only.   
-It’s me, Boss!  
-“Boss”! I didn’t know you liked to be called “Boss” !

Gibbs hadn’t wasted time as he had heard Tony’s voice.   
-I already told you there was no need to play your little games with me, Tom.  
-Ok, Gibbs! I’m going to let you with your “friend”!   
The young man Gibbs had called Tom turned to face Tony.  
-Let me know if you are tired to play with the old man...  
Tony was so stunned that he didn’t find anything to reply to him. Tom walked upstairs and closed the guest room’s door behind him.  
Gibbs had not moved and he could see that Tony would need some answers even if he knew that the younger man would never ask one of the hundreds questions that were running to his mind...  
-Sorry, Tony. I didn’t want you to meet him this way.  
-Can I ask one question?  
-Only one...? Let’s go inside first.

Gibbs walked to his couch followed by Tony who was not sure he had knocked at the right house... Or maybe it was the Twilight Zone... It reminded him of an old episode he had watched years ago... 

Gibbs interrupted his thoughts.  
-So, What was your question, Tony?  
-Who is this young man?  
-Tom.  
-Yes I already know that. But it’s not what I asked. Who is he for you?  
-Tom is my son...

Chapter 2.  
Thomas L. Brennan.

Tony couldn’t decide what to do next. He was in Gibbs’ living room, on his couch, hearing him say that he had an almost fifteen year-old-son. He had guessed that something had changed in Gibbs’ life lately... He had become more quiet, thoughtful... But a son...  
-Your son?  
It was the only sentence he was able to build right now. His brain was running fast, too fast maybe and the only things he had in mind now were more questions... Questions he didn’t dare to ask.

-Yes, Tony. But he doesn’t know I’m his father.  
-Why? ...How? ... What?  
-You are trying to make a list of the hundred way of asking a question...?  
-Sorry Boss. But I can’t think clearly for now. I have too many questions...  
-I’m sure there are some of your questions I couldn’t even answer. I’ve been a little surprised myself. A lot happened in a short period.

Tony stood up. He had to move to clear his mind. It had always worked this way for him. Intellectual and physical activities went together... He needed to do something while thinking especially when he was confused.   
-You are telling me you only recently discovered you had a son ?  
-I received a mysterious call two weeks ago telling me my son was in danger. I didn’t believe the man at first but he told me I had to help this kid or he would soon be dead. I asked him the kid’s name and that’s when I began to have some doubts.  
-Don’t tell me his second name is Jethro?  
-No... at least I don’t think so. But his family name is Brennan... his mother’s name...  
-Oh, I see. You realized you have well known his mother... But it doesn’t mean he is your son, Gibbs.  
-I know Tony. but it was enough to have doubts. I couldn’t ignore that call and do as if there was no possibility that this kid could be my son.  
-So, what have you done?  
-I began searching for him and his mother. But I found nothing…That’s when I received a second call giving me an address…That’s where I found him.

Tony knew that Gibbs was hiding important parts of the story but he was aware that all this situation was not easy for the older man. He couldn’t blame him.  
He suddenly remembered the file Ducky had given him. It was certainly not a good news if it was what Tony was thinking it could be. But he couldn’t hide it from Gibbs.  
-Ducky gave me that file for you.   
Gibbs took the papers Tony was holding him out. He opened the folder and Tony was surprised to see him hesitate before reading it.

Tony stood up giving the older man some space and time. He was walking around the room when he heard someone coming down the stairs. Tom was there and for the first time he could see the child in him. The teenager had not seen him. He was observing Gibbs and Tony couldn’t not see the arrogance he had witnessed previously.

He realized for the first time that the kid had Gibbs’ eyes. Tom must have felt Tony’s gaze on him because he was now looking directly at him. He had put the mask on once more. Tony was frozen by that smile…This kid was trying to seduce him and Tony was feeling sick thinking about what it meant.

What had happened to him? How a child could become…? He knew well how this kind of things could happen. No parents, no home and one day he had fled from his foster family or from the orphanage they had put him into. Then he had certainly met people who had showed him how he could make money easily…God knows he had seen many lost kids when he was a cop…

Tony looked back at Gibbs. The older man had put the file on the coffee table and was staring at his hands. He was way too still. Tony didn’t know what had happened to this kid or his mother but it was obvious that it was hard for Gibbs to face the fact that he had a son he knew nothing about…  
-Boss, Are you ok?  
When Gibbs looked up at him Tony understood that what he had just read had shaken him. Tony had never seen so much sadness in his eyes before. They had to talk but Tom didn’t need to hear about it.

-Tom, could you leave us alone a minute?  
That smile again…This kid was lucky he had no time to tell him what he was thinking about it…For now he had a friend to take care of and this man was more important for him than anyone else.  
-Anything you want, Cutie…!  
Where had he learnt to talk like that? Tony would have laughed if the situation had not been so tragic. He sighed and gave the kid his hardest look… The one which meant “no need to try!”.  
-Just shut the door and turn the music on…  
-You don’t trust me ?   
-Just to be sure…

Tom walked back to his room and closed the door. Tony could hear the sound of music and he was surprised to hear the sound of opera…he couldn’t say which one it was. One more cliché he would have to forget about…teenagers were not all “noise” addicts. The words was from his father. He could still hear him say that the music he was listening to had more to do with noise than real music.

-His mother had always loved opera.   
Gibbs had used past tense to talk about her.   
-What’s in this file?  
-It’s the autopsy report of Ann Line Brennan, dead two years ago and the report of this investigation which had followed.  
-I’m sorry, Gibbs. How did she die?  
-The report says that she had been beaten to death. It also says that she had several fractures which were not completely healed when she died…

Tony knew what it meant. This woman had been bashed regularly but this time it had been the last. Then Tony realized what Gibbs had told… She’s been dead for two years…It implied that Tom had been in the streets for almost as long. And before that he had lived with a man who had probably abused his mother…

Tony could see that Gibbs had come to the same conclusion.   
-Did they find who did that?  
-She was living with a man for five years. They think it was him but they could not find any evidences before the man went away…  
-What happened to the kid after that?  
-It’s not in the file but I can guess he had not been placed in a good family…

Gibbs had stood up and was pacing around the room. Tony could feel the anger radiating from him now.  
-They didn’t even search for him…They let him go like that…He was only thirteen, Tony.  
-You have nothing to blame yourself for, Boss. You didn’t even know you had a son…  
-I know it’s not my fault. That’s not what I was saying, Tony…  
-I heard you well, Gibbs but I also heard what you didn’t say. And I would repeat it until you really believe me. There’s nothing you could have done…  
-He is my son, Tony.   
The older man had almost yelled but he soon calmed down thinking that Tom didn’t need to learn it this way.  
-A father is supposed to protect his child…  
-Yes, most of the time that’s what they are supposed to do. And that’s what you are doing now and what you are going to do for the next years… He needs you…

Gibbs sighed heavily…Yes Tom needed him, he needed someone to take care of him. Someone who could help him be a child again…  
-When I found him he was about to follow a man… I don’t want to imagine what he had to do for the last year…I put him out of the car. I can tell you the man was not really happy about it…  
-Yeah, I can still see it on your face.   
Tony gave him a reassuring smile trying to help him go on.

-Tom didn’t say anything, didn’t move. He followed me without a question. I told him I didn’t want to hurt him. He only smiled doubtfully and looked back at the road.  
-What are you going to do now?  
-I don’t know Tony. I think I have to talk with him about what happened in the last year and about the fact I think I’m his father…  
-I have to ask one question. I don’t want you to think I doubt you but are you sure he is your son?  
-Not 100 percent, Tony but everything matchs…his age, the name his mother gave him and did you really look at him… And I not talking about the way he tried to seduce you.

Tony didn’t know what to tell him. Yes he had looked at this kid and he had seen what Gibbs was talking about…This kid had his eyes… but it was not enough to be sure…  
-Tom is fifteen and you knew his mother well…   
-You can say that, Tony. Ann and I had been friends for years before trying to become more but it didn’t really worked between us for many reasons…So we decided to go separate ways… I don’t know if she knew she was pregnant but she never told me anything. I tried to keep contact with her but she moved to another State and I didn’t hear from her since that day…

-So, you could be his father if we only look at the dates but I’m sorry to say that but she could have met someone after or even have been with someone else before…  
-I know that Tony... even if I don’t think she would have done that… But there is his name…  
-What’s with his name. Tom Brennan …?  
-His full name is Thomas Leroy Brennan…  
-Ok, I must admit it would be weird to name his son after an old friend if this old friend is not related in a way to this kid… But it’s still not a proof.  
-I know he is my son, Tony. I feel it. I don’t know how to explain it but I was sure of it the moment I saw him…The moment he looked at me…

Tony could hear the emotion in Gibbs’ voice. It was obvious that the older man was fighting with many different feelings right now. Tony wanted to help him even if he didn’t know what he could do.  
-What can I do to help you, Boss?  
-Nothing Tony…You don’t have to be a part of this. I have to deal with it alone.  
-Oh no, you are not going to push me away like that, Boss. I know I have no right to interfere like that in your life but you are going to need someone at your side…And I want to help you and Tom.  
-Tony…

The younger man gathered his strength and faced Gibbs. He had never done that before. Gibbs was not the kind of man you wanted to bother but Tony knew he had to do that for Gibbs, for this kid and for himself…  
-You won’t push me away this time, Jethro. I’m your friend and that’s what friends do for each other…You are about to tell this kid who thought he was alone that you are his father…I’m sorry to say that but I don’t think he would take the news too well…  
-What are you suggesting, Tony?  
-Let me talk with him…  
-I need to tell him myself, Tony. How could I ask for his trust if I’m not honest with him on that matter?  
-I won’t tell him anything. I just want to talk with him, to show him he could trust me…  
-I don’t see how it could help?  
-I’ve dealt with kids like him before and he needs to know that not everyone is like the people he had met…  
-What are you trying to say, Tony?

Tony knew what he had to say but he was not sure Gibbs was ready to hear the truth.  
-Tom had been obliged to sell himself to survive and I’m sure he didn’t decide to do it himself. There is someone behind that and believe he must be scared right now…  
Gibbs was speechless… He had not thought of the consequences when he had brought Tom here with him. Of course there was someone behind, someone to gather the money won on the pain and the soul of innocent kids…  
-I can offer him my help, Gibbs.  
-I can do that too.  
-No, Gibbs you have to be his father and only that for him. I will be the cop…  
-How can I be his father Tony…?

The younger man couldn’t answer that question.  
-I don’t know, Boss. But I will be here for you.  
-Why?  
The question had been asked in a whisper and Tony was not really sure what Gibbs wanted to know.  
-Why what?  
-Why are you doing this?  
“Because I love you” was the answer he wanted to give him. Of course he would never say that. He didn’t know how Gibbs would react but he didn’t want to take this kind of risk. This man was too important for him…  
-Because you need the help of a friend, because I know what Tom has been through and I’m sure I can help him.  
Tony knew that the answer had not satisfied Gibbs. The older man had seen that Tony was hiding something from him…  
-Thanks Tony. you are right Tom will need help from someone else than his father…

-What the two of you are doing behind my back…?  
They had not heard Tom coming in. The teenager was facing them… and now Tony was sure he was Gibbs’ son…this anger, this coldness in his eyes…he had already witnessed it in Gibbs’ eyes.  
-Tom. There is something I need to tell you…  
-You think…?  
-Tom I didn’t want you to learn it like that…  
-Sure Gibbs. You wanted to wait for the right moment to tell me that…

Tony didn’t want to intervene but he had to help Gibbs.  
-Tom! Gibbs only wanted to be sure you would be able to hear about it…  
-And who are you? His gigolo…?  
-I’m his friend and yours, Tom.  
-My friend… I don’t have friends… I don’t need friends…  
He turned to face Gibbs and put all the anger he had in his voice.  
-And I don’t need my daddy to save me… I’m doing good alone…  
Before they could do anything Tom had run out of the house.

Chapter 3.  
Thomas Leroy Gibbs…?

Gibbs had stayed frozen in the middle of his living room after Tom had left the house. He knew he should have run after him but he couldn’t make a move…the last days had been hard for him and he was feeling too exhausted to react properly when his own son was running away from him.

He had watched Tony get out of the room and he knew the younger man would catch Tom before the kid could disappear. If someone could bring Tom back to him it was Tony. Gibbs had always trusted him with the job. But today he had to learn to trust him with his private life… a task much more difficult as the older man had always kept this part of himself well hidden to everyone.

He didn’t want any of his co-workers to know who he was, what his life had been made of. He was not ashamed but he preferred keeping some parts secret. He would never tell anyone that he had fallen in love only once and that he had been hurt so badly this time that he had promised himself it would never happen again… He couldn’t afford loving someone like he had.

He sat heavily on his couch, hiding his head on his hands. His life had changed in the last week. He had found out that a woman he had met years ago had had a child, a little boy she had called after his father…Thomas Leroy. He had met his son; he had seen himself in the kids’ eyes. 

And now he was unable to help him, unable to talk to him. He couldn’t blame him to have reacted this way. He had been abandoned and had had to find a way to survive in the streets. Gibbs couldn’t imagine what his life had been like all those years alone, without anyone to help him. The man who had called him had said his son was in danger and he could guess what danger it was. He had seen him about to follow a man in his car and he knew what would have happened.

He was feeling sick at the thought of what his own son had been obliged to do for two years and he would do anything to keep him away from the streets and the man who had made a kid do that. He was lost in his thoughts when he heard someone coming in the room.

-Boss, are you ok?  
Gibbs looked up at Tony who was now standing in front of him. He searched the room and felt the anguish grow in his heart when he saw there was no one else in the room.  
-Where is Tom, Tony?  
-He didn’t go far. He is in the garden. He told me he needed some time to think and I promise to let him alone if he promised to come back in and talk with you.  
-Tony, I don’t know what to tell him. I’ve never been here for him. How could I ask him to trust me?  
-You don’t have to ask, Gibbs. He is your son and he needs you. The only thing you have to do is to make him feel you really are his father. He is a stubborn kid… I’m sure to know where it comes from…

Tony sat next to Gibbs on the couch and the older man was surprised when the younger man put a hand on his knee. Gibbs looked at him. Tony could read the surprise on his boss’ face but he had to make him understand what he meant to him. Tom needed a father but Gibbs needed someone to trust, a friend, and a partner. And Tony wanted to give him that.  
-I’ll stay here with you if you want me to. I don’t know what you are going to do with Tom but I’m sure there will be tough moments. I want you to know I will be here for you, for him…  
-I’m not sure to understand what you mean Tony…

Gibbs had difficulties to concentrate with Tony so close to him. He had met a lot of good guys, he had slept with some of them and he had even enjoyed it. But it was Tony here next to him a hand on his knee…  
-What can I say, Jethro? Isn’t it obvious?  
Gibbs was not sure he was still in his house anymore. He had probably fallen asleep and was dreaming. Tony could not do what he thought he was doing. Gibbs stood up, walking away from Tony.  
-Don’t tell me you didn’t know, Jethro. I know I’m a good actor but not for you…  
-I don’t know Tony. I think I never allowed myself to see it…

Tony stood up and faced Gibbs. They were so close now that Gibbs could feel Tony’s warmth and he couldn’t deny he was a little scared by the feelings he was now experiencing.  
-You have to tell me to stop now, Jethro because I’m about to kiss you…  
Gibbs couldn’t move. Tony was about to kiss him and he couldn’t tell him not do to it because he wanted it. He wanted to feel Tony’s lips on his…He needed it. Tony made one more step and placed a hand on Gibbs’ waist. The first touch was gentle and soft.   
Their lips met and each of them felt the time froze. They were both lost in the moment, in the kiss they were sharing, their tongues dancing.

They broke apart searching for some air. Gibbs couldn’t say anything as if he had lost the ability to speak. Tony was smiling at him his hand still on Gibbs’ waist. He didn’t know what this kiss meant but he had felt Gibbs melt. He had not been sure he was not about to loose his job but he had read some signs in Gibbs’ behavior.  
-I guess it was not a first for you Boss…  
-You thought I’m a virgin…?  
-Not really but I was not sure…  
-You were not sure how I would react and you kissed me…You like taking risks…  
-It was worth it…

Gibbs didn’t reply but he stayed there, in front of Tony trying to clear his mind. Tony was now worried. Gibbs had liked the kiss. He had felt it but he couldn’t tell what the older man would say now. Tony took a step back and looked at Gibbs.  
Gibbs turned his back to him and began to pace around the room. Not a good sign.   
-Don’t over think it, Boss. Forget about it.  
-What do you want to do now, Tony?  
-What do you mean?  
-I’m just asking a question, Tony. You kissed me so you should tell me what it means.

Tony took some time to think about what he had to say now. He could hear the anger in Gibbs’ voice as if the older man was blaming him for confusing him. Tony knew the situation was not easy for Gibbs and he began to think he had done a mistake…No it was not a mistake, he was sure Gibbs wanted it too.   
-It means what you want it to mean, Boss.  
Gibbs smiled sadly at him and Tony couldn’t understand what the older man wanted to tell him with it.  
-I’m not sure you want to know, Tony.

They were interrupted by Tom who opened the front door. The kid had cried, his eyes were swollen and red. Gibbs wanted to walk to him and take him in his arms telling him everything would be fine. But he couldn’t do that. First because Tom would not probably allow him to come close to him and then because he was not sure it was what he had to do.  
-I’m glad you decided to come back, Tom.  
-Mom always told you had to hear what someone had to say before judging him.  
-She was a wise woman.  
-Yes.

Gibbs could tell that Tom was waiting for him to say something. In a weird way, Gibbs was feeling that it was not him the adult in this room. Tom was looking at him with cold eyes and Gibbs realized it would be hard to convince him to stay. Tony was still in the room but he knew it was not his place to say something.

-I think I’m going to let the two of you talk and go for a walk.  
-Thanks, Tony.  
-Yeah, thanks Tony.  
For the first since he had met Tony, Tom had not used that provocative smile. Gibbs didn’t know what Tony had told him to make him stay but he could tell that the younger man had found the right words. Tony smiled at Gibbs and touched lightly his hand before exiting the house.

-I know the situation is not easy for you Tom but…  
-You’re wrong. You have no idea how hard the situation is for me…You don’t know anything about me.  
-That’s true, Tom. Only a week ago I didn’t even know I had a son. But it’s not an excuse. I met your mother a long time ago. But it didn’t work between us. I tried to stay in contact with her but we both had our lives and she decided to move to another state… 

Tom had sat on the couch and was listening carefully to what Gibbs was telling him. Gibbs sat next to him but not too close.  
-I should have been here for you from the beginning. I wish I could change it and be the father you needed me to be but I can’t change what happened. I don’t know why your mother didn’t tell me she was pregnant. She probably thought it would be better for you.

Tom looked up at him. Gibbs could see he had said something important and he decided to let Tom talk and say what he had to say.  
-She talked about you once. She never said your name but one day she said that my father would never have allowed anyone to hurt me…and you know what I trusted her. I told myself that one day my father would come and get us out of there…  
The teenager lowered his head looking at his hands.  
-I think I began to doubt it would ever happen the day I met Eggert. He told me there would be no one to save me except myself and that I had to make some decision fast and never look back. He was the only one who offered me a roof and something to eat every day. It was all I needed… Well, I had to work to pay him but at least I was alive…

-Alive…?  
-Yes, Gibbs. After that bastard killed my mother he said he would kill me if he ever saw me again and I had no doubt he wouldn’t have even blinked doing it. I was safe with Eggert.  
-He obliged you to work for him, to prostitute yourself. It’s illegal, Tom. He had no right to do that.

Gibbs was frozen by Tom’s laugh.   
-Illegal, Special Agent Gibbs…? Yes it is. But you don’t know how it works. Those guys don’t care about what is legal or illegal…They take what they need and get rid of everything else. I needed that money so I did what I had to do…  
-It’s over now. I won’t let you go back in the streets…  
-And how are you going to keep me. You’re going to tie me to chair or lock me in my room. I may be only fifteen but I’m not a kid anymore, Gibbs…You grow up fast when you have to sell yourself to eat…

Gibbs knew he wouldn’t convince him to stay telling him it was for his own good. Tom was unable to see what was good for him. But he was his father and as Tony had told him that’s what Tom needed him to be. Gibbs came closer to his son and lowered his voice. He didn’t want to threaten him but he had to make him understand he was no longer the only to decide.

-You are going to listen carefully to me, Thomas. You are my son even if you don’t like it…And I’m going to do what a father would do…even if it means protecting you from yourself. You are not going back in the streets…

Tom began to stand up but Gibbs caught his arm and made him sit back on the couch.  
-I’m not done yet. You are going to stay here and begin a new life with me.   
-I don’t need you, Gibbs. I was fine before you came…I made a lot of money…  
Gibbs was feeling the anger grow and he knew he would not stay calm for long. He took a deep breath to calm down but Tom had decided to play it hard.  
-You can go back and play with your little boy. I’m sure he is waiting out there for you to call him. I saw how you looked at him and believe me I’m an expert…If you didn’t screw him already… You should try. I’m sure he is amazing in a bed…

Before he realized what he was doing, Gibbs caught Tom’s arm and was about to slap him. He stopped frozen when he saw the sad smile on the kid’s face.  
-See. I knew you were like the others. My mother was wrong when she said you were different. I should have known…You’ve known me only for some hours and you already hate me. It was nice to meet you but I think I’d better go now…  
Gibbs released his hold. He had not expected Tom to react this way.   
-Tom, don’t go.  
-I can’t stay with you and you know it. You have your life and I’m sorry about what I said about Tony. I’m sure he is a nice guy and I know he loves you or he would have run away when he saw me…

Tom stood up and walked to the door but Gibbs couldn’t let him go. He didn’t know what he could do to make him stay. He followed him and caught his arm before Tom put his hand on the handle.  
-Give me a chance, Tom. I have a lot to learn to be a good father but I’m sure that if you help me I could try to be like the father you imagined when you were a kid. Just tell me what you want me to do…  
Tom seemed to think about Gibbs’ words for some time.   
-I don’t want you to go back to the life you had for two years. I can’t even imagine what you had been through but I’m here now. And I promise no one would ever hurt you, Tom. I won’t let anyone touch you again…

Tom hands were now shaking and it was hard for Gibbs not to take his son in his arms. He wanted nothing more than to make him forget about what had happened to him.  
-We could try for some time and see what happens. Tell me what you want Tom…  
The kid turned and looked at his father his eyes wet with tears he was still trying to hold. He opened his mouth but Gibbs could hear no words.  
-Tell me, Tom…  
-Can you take me in your arms…? Dad…?

The sentence had been said in a whisper and Gibbs had read his lips more than heard his words but it doesn’t matter. His son was now in front of him and for the first time he could see the extent of the pain he had endured.   
He closed the gap between them and hugged his son. Tom had rested his head on Gibbs’ chest and the older man could hear the sobs his son was trying to hold.  
-It’s ok to cry, Tom. You are safe now. I won’t let anyone hurt you.  
-Don’t leave me, please…  
-I won’t leave you, Tom. You’re my son.

Gibbs realized he was also crying but he didn’t care. In a week he had found out he had a son and for the first time since he had brought him back with him he was beginning to think they had a chance to make it work.  
And there was him…The man who was now standing at his door smiling softly at him. Tony had stayed here even when he had learnt about Tom… he had kissed him…and even if he didn’t want to see in those facts more than they really meant, he couldn’t help hoping it was the beginning of a new life for them…

Chapter 4.  
Jethro, Tony and Tom.

It was already dark outside when Tom went back to the room Gibbs had given him only hours earlier. The teenager was still not sure he was not dreaming…He had found his father…His father had finally found him to be more precise. But the only that mattered now was that he wanted him to stay. Gibbs wanted to keep him here…in his house. He had said he was his son…

Tom had hoped to hear this word for years…And here he was in his father’s house…Hoping for the first time in his life that everything would be all right for him. He sat on the bed and closed his eyes. He was safe here. He felt hot tears running down his cheeks. Lying down he starred at the ceiling for a moment thinking about what had happened in the last hours.

Last night he had been about to follow a man when another one had pulled him out of the car, hitting the driver when this one had tried to keep him inside. He had learnt to recognize when he didn’t control the situation. That’s why he had let this man take him to his car. He needed money no matter who was giving it to him. this man or another…

When he had begun this ‘job’ he had been so scared but it had not lasted for long. The men he had met in the streets night after night didn’t like crying little boys…So he learnt to give them what they wanted…building walls around his heart to avoid being hurt too much. It had not worked…He had been hurt badly day after day but he had decided to bury it deep inside.

No one had ever fought for him or to defend him. this man had been the first and he had waited for him to ask for what he wanted when they had entered this house. But instead of that this man had asked him if he wanted something to eat or drink. He had made him sat at the kitchen table and had watched him eat.

-My name is Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I’m a federal agent of NCIS.  
That’s when he had thought it was the beginning of troubles. A federal agent…He had never been lucky. He had stood up and walked to the door. He had to get out of this house as fast as possible. Gibbs had caught his arm before he could open the door.  
-You will be safe here…Don’t go.

Something in the man’s voice had kept him from running outside. He didn’t know why but he had wanted to trust this man…And not because he was a federal agent. He had turned to face him and had felt those blue eyes reading his mind. He didn’t act like the man he had met in the last year. He had not asked for anything and was only offering him a shelter.

He had decided to stay and see what would happen. He was not taking a great risk. What could happen to him that had not happened once or twice already? …He could be killed…At least it would have been the end of the nightmare he had been living for years.

But Gibbs had not try to harm him, he had not tried to touch him. the man was a mystery to him. he had not said a word except that he needed to go to the police station and at his office before leaving him alone in his house. This man had trusted him enugh to leave him alone in his house for hours…He had visited the house finding nothing very interesting.

Then he had taken the stairs leading to the basement and had stayed frozen in front of what looked like the skeleton of a boat. He had touched the wood, felt it under his palm. The wood was warm; it was as if the boat was alive. He had stayed there for long minutes…his ahdns on the wood. He had surprised himself thinking it would be nice to learn how to build a boat like that. Maybe Gibbs would like to teach him…

He had shaken his head thinking he was being stupid. That was not because Gibbs had taken him out of the streets for a night that he was going to adopt him. He’d better enjoy the moments he would spend here before going back to where he belonged.

When Gibbs had come back he had brought him a cup of hot chocolate and he had not dared telling him he would have preferred a coffee. Around noon the door bell had rung and he had met Tony. The least he could say was that the man was hot. He had seen surprise in his eyes…surprise and something else. This man had known at the first sight who he really was. No need to hide with him.

He had played with him the role he had learnt over the years. He had hated himself while he was trying to seduce Tony. He knew it would never have worked with him. This man was a cop, Gibbs’ friend…two reasons to be nice with him. But he had always been good at deceiving people. 

Things had gone faster from that moment…He had learnt Gibbs was his father. At first he had tried to go away and forget about what he had just heard. But deep inside he knew it was his chance to get out of the world he was living in. Most of all he wanted to feel safe and Gibbs could give him that. 

For the first time since his mother’s burial he had allowed himself to cry. He had allowed someone hold him. He could still feel the strength of Gibbs’ arm around him…Of his father’s arms…Tom drifted into sleep a smile on his face…He was home again.

 

Gibbs and Tony were still in the living room. They were both feeling exhausted by what had happened today. They had a lot to think about and Tom was not the only one Gibbs had difficulties dealing with. Tony had been distant all evening…Gibbs had not expected him to hold his hand or touch him in front of Tom. But he was not sure now to have interpreted Tony’s behavior right.

He was too confused to think clearly for now…and he didn’t know if he really wanted to think about what happened between him and Tony. he was scared that it could only have been a dream, something that would never go further than a kiss. He was aware that the younger man didn’t want to rush things but he needed to know…Hell, he needed him.

-Are you ok, Boss?  
It took Gibbs a moment to realize that Tony was talking to him.  
-Sure, Tony. I’m fine…I’m just a little tired after what had happened today…  
-I’d better leave you alone then…You need to rest.  
-No...!  
The word had escaped from his mouth before he could think about it. He didn’t want to be alone. He could not let Tony go.

Tony looked at the man sat at his side. He didn’t know what was wrong with him but it wwas obvious that something was bothering him. He placed a hand on his knee.  
-What’s wrong, Jethro?  
-Nothing…Tony. You’re right I need to rest and you probably need it too.  
Gibbs had not looked at him while he was speaking and Tony was now sure there was something really wrong. Gibbs had never avoided his eyes before.

-You know you can talk to me, right?  
-Tony…I …  
-Jethro…Tell me what’s wrong.  
-I was just thinking…  
-About me…? About us…?  
Gibbs blinked several times and cleared his voice before trying to answer. Tony was close to him…so close…

-I had just hoped…Nevermind…You’d better forget about it.  
-Jethro…I don’t want to forget about it. I don’t want to rush things between us. You have so many things to deal with…  
-Tony…I need you.  
Tony didn’t know what to say to this simple statement. For once Gibbs had let his heart talk for him and had only expressed the truth.

-I need you too, Jethro. And I’ve already told you I would be more than happy to be a part of your life.  
-Tony…I…  
Ok, Gibbs was unable to answer for the second time in only two minutes…Now, Tony was really worried.  
-Tell me what you want from me, Jethro.  
Gibbs stood up and began to walk around the room trying to forget about Tony’s eyes locked on him, about the warmth of his hand he was still feeling on his knee. He felt a hand on his arm and turned to see that Tony was facing him.

-Jethro, please. Tell me what you really want.  
-I can’t Tony.  
-Why…? You just have to tell me the truth.  
-You don’t understand…  
-On the contrary, I think I understand perfectly well. You want to know why…?   
Tony took Gibbs’ hand and placed it on his heart.  
-I understand, Jethro…because I want it too. 

When Tony’s lips touched his eyelid Gibbs felt his heart miss a beat.   
-I want the same thing, Jethro.  
The younger man went on, kissing his other eyelid, his jaw…Gibbs was not sure he was in his living room anymore.  
-Are you feeling it, Jethro?   
He could not answer because Tony’s lips were on his. Yes, he was feeling it too. His lips parted allowing Tony’s tongue to enter his mouth. Tony’s arms found their way around Gibbs’ waist.

Tony was the first to break the contact. His eyes were shining when he looked at the man in his arms. Gibbs had not made a move…he was feeling safe in the refuge of Tony’s arms.  
-Is that what you want, Jethro?  
Why was it so hard to answer? Of course, that’s what he wanted but he could say the words Tony wanted to hear. He rested his head on Tony’s shoulder pulling him closer.  
-I’m here, Jethro. You don’t need to say anything. I won’t leave you…  
-Tony…

Tony could hear the sobs Gibbs was trying to hold back in his voice.   
-Let it go, Jethro. You have nothing to hide to me…  
Tony was caressing Gibbs’ hair talking softly into his ear. He wanted Gibbs to trust him…he wanted to be his partner, his lover… the one he could rely on.  
-Tony…Don’t leave me…  
It was almost a plea and Tony felt his heart break at the insecurity he could hear in those words. 

-I won’t leave you, Jethro.   
It was the sentence Gibbs needed to hear. Tony could feel Gibbs’ tears wet his shirt. Tony let him cry holding him tightly. After what seemed long minutes he led him to his bedroom. He was not sure Gibbs wanted anything else from him than a friendly shoulder but he had promised to stay with him. So he layed down on the bed at his side. The older man curled against him and soon his head found his way to Tony’s chest.Tony knew Gibbs would soon fall asleep.

-You need to sleep, Jethro. I won’t move from here.  
Tony’s right hand was on Gibbs’ back going up and down in a reassuring and gentle move.  
-I love you, Tony.  
It had only been a whisper but Tony had heard those words loud and clear.  
-I love you too, Jethro.

 

All was quiet in the house. Tony and Gibbs had fallen asleep in each other’s arms. Tom was in the guest’s room trying to fight against an invisible ennemy that was trying to attack him in his dream. It was not the first time he was making this nightmare…but each time it was the same fear. He could feel it running down his veins. The irrational fear, the thought that no one would come to save you, that no one would ever be here to hold you and wipe away the tears.

He sat on the bed. The room was dark around him.He knew he had screamed but he hoped he had not waken up his father or Tony. He didn’t know why he had thought Tony was still here but he had the feeling that the special agent would not have stayed away from his boss tonight. He had watched them tonight and he had seen their feelings for each other.

He heard footsteps outside and saw the light coming from the hall. Well done! He had awaken his father. Gibbs opened the door letting the light coming in the small room.  
-Tom…?   
-I’m sorry, Gibbs; I didn’t want to wake you up…I’ll soon be asleep again. Don’t worry…  
Gibbs walked to the bed and Tom could now see that Tony was behind his father. He had guessed right…Good. Gibbs sat on the bed and placed a hand on his son’s forehead.

-You’re sure you are ok, Tom? You are sweating…  
-It was just a bad dream. Don’t worry.  
-I’m your father and the first thing that fathers learn to do is worrying for their son. Want to talk about this dream?  
-Not really…  
Gibbs could hear that even if Tom wanted to sound brave; he had been shaken by this nightmare. He could not let him alone now.  
-You want me to stay with you?

Tom gave him a puzzled look. He didn’t understand what Gibbs meant. The older man saw the confusion in his son’s eyes.  
-I just want to be here if this bad dream come back. You are not alone anymore, Tom.  
He had thought for a second that Gibbs wanted…Oh God…How could have he thought that his father would want something like that from him?  
-I’m sorry, Dad…  
-For what, Tom?

Tom looked up at him his eyes filled with tears. Gibbs took him in his arms and rocked him softly letting his son cry.  
-There’s nothing to be sorry about, Tom. The nightmare is over now. I’m going to take care of you and I promise that no one would ever hurt you.  
Tony sat on the other side of the bed. He didn’t want to interfere between the father and his son but he needed to be a part of it. Tom turned to face him and smiled softly at him.

-You’re going to stay with us, Tony?  
-I don’t know, Tom. You have to ask your father.  
-Dad?  
Gibbs didn’t know what to say. He hated being speechless but what can you answer to that? Two days ago he was alone; leaving only for himself…And today he had a son and a man he loved. Life can be surprising sometimes.

-Dad?  
-I think you should give him a little more time to answer.  
-I don’t need more time, Tony.  
Gibbs took Tony’s hand, a arm still around his son’s shoulder.  
-I love you, Tony and I want you to be a part of my life…If Tom is ok with that…  
-You’re asking me if you can love Tony?   
-No, Tom. I love Tony. You can’t turn off those kind of feelings. I’m asking you if you want us to try to build a family. It’s probably not the family you had dreamt of…

Tom remained silent for long minutes and the two men began to worry. Tony put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.  
-I love your father, Tom and with time I’m sure we could be friends but I won’t come in the way between you and your father. I’m not going to steal him from you…  
Tom looked up at Tony. He had not realized why he had suddenly been afraid to loose what he had just been given. Tony had put words on this fear.

-You are his son, Tom and no one would ever replace you in his heart.  
Tom smiled at him.  
-I’ve never thought I could love someone, Tony. No one had ever loved me except my mother. What I’m feeling now is so unexpected and wonderful at the same time…I can help feeling it will be over soon…  
-It won’t, Tom. I can’t promise it’s going to be easy but I’m willing to try if you are too…  
-Yes I am, Dad. I want it to be true. I want to have a family.

Both men looked at the child between them. The boy Tony had met at the door only hours earlier had disappeared. They had in front of them an expecting child. A boy who needed them, who wanted them to show him what love really meant. Gibbs realized he had now to face the hardest challenge life had ever put him face to face with. He had to make his son happy…He had to teach him what being loved meant.

He had also a life to build with the man he was in love with. He could see in Tony’s eyes that the younger man was thinking of the same things. For the first time in years he wanted to hope…He wanted to make it true.


End file.
